Category: Joke Board
New Microsoft TV dinners
You must first remove the plastic cover. By doing so you agree to accept and honor Microsoft rights to all TV dinners.
You may not give anyone else a bite of your dinner (which would constitute an infringement of Microsoft's rights).
You may, however, let others smell and look at your dinner and are encouraged to tell them how good it is.
If you have a PC microwave oven, insert the dinner into the oven. Set the oven using these keystrokes: mstv.dinn.
//08.5min@50%heat
Then enter:
ms//start.cook_dindin/yummy|/yum~yum:-)gohot#cookme.
If you have a Macintosh microwave oven, insert the dinner and press start. The oven will set itself and cook the dinner.
If you have a Unix microwave oven, insert the dinner, enter the ingredients of the dinner found on the package label, the weight of the dinner, and the
desired level of cooking and press start. The oven will calculate the time and heat and cook the dinner exactly to your specification.
Be forewarned that Microsoft dinners may crash, in which case your oven must be restarted. This is a simple procedure. Remove the dinner from the oven and
enter: ms.nodamn.good/tryagainagain/again.crap
This process may have to be repeated. Try unplugging the microwave and then doing a cold reboot. If this doesn't work, contact your oven vendor. The oven
itself is obviously on the blink.
Many users have reported that the dinner tray is far too big, larger than the dinner itself, having many useless compartments, most of which are empty.
These are for future menu items. If the tray is too large to fit in your oven, you will need to upgrade your equipment.
Dinners are only available from registered outlets, and only the chicken variety is currently produced. If you want another variety, call Microsoft Help
and they will explain that you really don't want another variety. Microsoft Chicken is all you really need.
Microsoft has disclosed plans to discontinue all smaller versions of their chicken dinners. Future releases will only be in the larger family size. Excess
chicken may be stored for future use, but must be saved only in Microsoft approved packaging.
Microsoft promises a dessert with every dinner under their new operating system. However, that version has yet to be released. Users have permission to
get thrilled in advance.
Microsoft dinners may be incompatible with other dinners in the freezer, causing your freezer to self-defrost. This is a feature, not a bug. Your freezer
probably should have been defrosted anyway.
can we have some drinks too? I could hear in the update they will guive some glasses, but why if there is not any drink?
lol. That was a great one. lol
lol lol! very funny. Where do you guys find this stuff?
Lol same. Where'd you find this, CatLover?
Most of the humor that I have posted here comes from e-mails that friends send me. I just copy them and then paste them on this board.
lol. good one.